![]() :54 – She’s joined by her prison posse of backup dancers who are easily twice her age.ġ:27 – Maybe her biggest crime, Gold has just repeated the same line over and over for 30 seconds.ġ:30 – Oh look, now the 11-year old girl is being electrocuted to death. :52 – I don’t know if she’s dead and moved on to 11-year old stripper hell, but she’s basically Ke$ha now. At least she’s not dressed like her name is Ch’a$$$titty anymore. She is about to be put to death for murdering a man in a burglary gone wrong. ![]() :28 – Now the 11-year old girl is in an electric chair. :13 – That’s a cop pointing a gun at an 11-year old girl. ![]() :06 – There’s an 11-year old girl wearing an outfit and running like she’s late for the Stripper Olympics. Maybe I’m just getting too Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon for this YouTube game, but I watched the entire video twice and made notes at the points where I did a lot of this: In “Shush Up,” as you can see if you watched beyond the first :05, Gold is dressed up like Ke$ha for this ridiculous bank robber/prison/death row idea, and the result is terrible. To Wilson’s credit, even though he’s had no problem manipulating and embarrassing his clients in the past, he has never really portrayed them as anything beyond bubbly teenage girls. Sure, you could be offended and maybe even outraged by the fact that Wilson charges people money to make these wretched pop songs and hilariously dumb videos, but as Anthony Kiedis said in Point Break, “ That would be a waste of time.” Instead, save your brow-furrowing for Gold’s new video for “Shush Up,” which is wrong on basically every level and actually not funny at all. Wilson’s latest “protégé” is 11-year old Alison Gold, and if you’re a YouTube music junkie like I am, then you’re already familiar with her other songs and videos, “Chinese Food” and the flabbergasting “ABCDEFG.” I’m not f*cking kidding you, the girl sings a song called “ABCDEFG.” All you need to know, though, is that he’s the guy who was behind Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and Nicole Westbrook’s “Thanksgiving,” or those songs that we’ve had so much fun ripping to shreds in the past. If you don’t immediately recognize the name Patrice Wilson, you’re probably not alone.
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